Talk Today
09/13/2001 - Updated 06:30 PM ET
Reuters

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy

Friday, Sept. 14, 1 p.m. ET

Are you having having difficulty sleeping? Are you overcome with feelings of fear, or are you just numb? Are you afraid to fly? Send your questions to our psychologists on call, and we'll give you coping tips to help you overcome your fears.

Dr. Joe Luciani, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the author of Self-Coaching. Dr. Mark Levy is a forensic psychiatrist and an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco.

Midwestern Missouri : My sister thinks she is losing her sanity: she is overcome by grief, cries frequently, feels unable to care for her toddler and newborn, is afraid to be alone. We live in the midwest and have no real connection (family or friends) in the disaster areas. She is afraid to seek professional help because they will say she is “crazy” and she is morbidly afraid of what might happen to her babies in her absence. She is overwhelmed by thoughts of harm coming to her children due to an attack on the middle of the country, or a war. How can I help?

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Mark Levy: The important thing to do is to tell her that her reaction is a normal one to an abnormal situation. These waves of emotion are typical stress response. It's like if you're headed for a speed bump, you brace yourself. It's important for your sister to know that her experience is in the range of normal. It's important that if she continues to have these symptoms, or if she has a history of significant loss, that she should see a professional as soon as possible. Hopefully she won't worry about losing custody of her children, since her behavior is in the range of normal.

Joe Luciani: I agree that this current reaction is normal in the current circumstances. She needs to realize that this tragedy was an anomoly. If she feels her safety is threatened, she's bringing her own insecurities to a tragedy. She need to differentiate between normal anxiety and the feeling of fear leaving the house. In terms of the custody of the children, stress and anxiety are normal, and will not lead to the loss of her children.

Mark Levy: One thing that's most helpful is to be active and connect with other people. She probably needs to get out of the house and connect with a friend, church members, or others. Do something for someone else: babysit, something like that.

Joe Luciani: I was an eyewitness to the entire event -- I was on the George Washington Bridge when the conflagration happened. We all started to physically come closer together. There was a kinship on that bridge. In crisis and tragedy, there's an appeal to coming together as a family.

New York, NY : I am a grown man, generally emotionally stable. I start crying for no apparent reason, several times throughout the day. It can be any sort of thing that triggers it. Is this normal?

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Joe Luciani: One thing you need to understand is that what's happened has left us feeling unsafe. The US has represented a kind of stability and serenity, and what's happened is the situation has changed. We're all reorienting our psyches. Your emotional state will teetertotter for a while, but it sounds like you have a great system for healing in crisis. Your mood will stabilize as you adjust to this trauma.

Buffalo,NY : Now I keep looking to the sky, when I am in the metro area. I guess I am wiating for another plain. any suggestions?

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Joe Luciani: I've been looking up at the sky myself!

When I was on the GW bridge, I was cognizent of the fact that it had been named as a target in the past. We're going to have to take it day by day.

Mark Levy: There's certain imagery that's engraved into our brains, and the plane going into the tower is one of those images. You don't process this instantly. This will take time, it'll come up in dreams, it'll be an intrusive idea. You'll start reprocessing TV images. What you're experiencing with the sky is a normal reaction to extraordinary stress.

Some people writing in questions will develop PTSD, which is very treatable, but very disabling if not treated.

Burlington, VT : I find myself using old mechanisms to cope with stress, so I know I'm feeling it. But with nothing to do to resolve it, how long will the stress remain this intense? Will people naturally start to adjust? Will it go away? Or is it going to be like this until this is "over"?

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Mark Levy: All of the above!

Joe Luciani: There are two levels of stress, internal and external. We have to go through our days with the external stress and allow it to dissipate. I'd suggest one take a proactive path, and realize we do have some control over the thoughts we have. We don't have to go down the morbid slope and hurt ourselves.

Nonthaburi, Thailand : My 15 year old daughter was born in NYC. She moved here when she was five. She is quite shaken up. She feels that her classmates at the international school are not showing compassion for the USA. She feels that so many people hate Americans. She is finding it difficult to be around people who are going about their daily life as if nothing happened. How can I comfort her?

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Mark Levy: It's important to talk to your daughter about how generous and contributing America has been. We send people all over the world to rescue earthquake victims, for example. We do this as a cultural trait. Put in perspective the foreign criticisms that we're "war mongering". Part of the problem may be that your daughter is disconnected by distance. Whether it's via the Internet, or pen pals, it may be helpful.

Athens, GA : I am planning to return to Michigan for a relative's funeral. My family in Michigan does not want me to fly there; they want me to drive a car. I really want to fly, ESPECIALLY in light of this recent horror. Is my family right? I feel like I need to send a message to the world that I'm not afraid. Am I crazy? How do we deal with this? Thank you very kindly. RM in GA

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Joe Luciani: You're not crazy. There are many of us, including myself, that feel that one of the things we can do for these heroic martyrs is to not flinch. An Israeli friend of mine told me it's important to stand up to terrorism, which means representing the best of yourself and your country.

Comment from Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Joe Luciani: Your family's concerns are understandable, but you need to make a strong personal choice here. It's important for you to do what you have to for your own healing.

DC : What would motivate anyone to do something this horrible?

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Mark Levy: This is an interesting question. We have to acknowledge that every society has issues for which people are willing to die. This is in now way an apology for this sort of horrific, dastardly act, just a way to understand them. Their belief systems have been pushed. On a personal level, this has to do with personal despair and personal impotence. Without despair and a feeling of powerlessness, it's hard to get people to commit suicide for a cause. It's crucial to do psychological profiles on these terrorists, for example: do they have a relative who died in a political uprising? How much grief are they enacting? It's like shooters who go over the top who've been brooding with revenge fantasies for weeks and months.

Joe Luciani: Dissolution of the ego is a problem. These people have become wedded to their causes that it becomes a personal mission. Look at the Kamikazes in World War II.

Mark Levy: A cult brainwash mentality.

Arlington, VA : I work for a small defense contractor based in the midwest, but in an office within walking distance to the Pentagon. Naturally, being so close to an attack site, some of us here have been heavily impacted--some have lost friends and acquaintences. Maybe I'm being too sensitive here, but I feel offended that since Tuesday, we've heard nothing from headquarters--no calls to see how we are, no offers or suggestions as to where to seek counseling--no acknowledgement of Tuesday's horrifying events whatsoever. Is it unreasonable to expect some sort of response from our leadership? If not, how should I air this disappointment, if at all?

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Mark Levy: This is an opportunity for you to become proactive. You're absolutely right to be disappointed, but now's the time to take charge. Organize your colleagues and pursue service programs. There are counseling services all over. You'll probably get assistance from your company.

Joe Luciani: My patients include people who are in a position to take care of their employees. Not everyone is thinking too far beyond their immediate stress. Normal channels of caring and giving are somewhat interrupted.

Atlanta, Ga : I am a middle aged woman and have watched and read more than I probably should have...my problem is I can't cry though I think I would feel better if I did. I am also concerned about my son who will soon turn 18....he's very fearful of being drafted and being killed. What can I say to him that will address his anxieties?

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Mark Levy: Is this a unique inhibition or a cultural value you share with your community?

Joe Luciani: People I've worked with who emotionally compartmentalize try to intellectualize. Your emotions may be subordinate to your intellect. Cognitively try to understand your feelings.

New York NY : What can I say to a stranger to lift his /her spirits during this horrible time?

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Mark Levy: Connecting is tremendously important.

Joe Luciani: If you listen to most broadcasts and addresses, you keep hearing "God bless America". We have to realize we're all family. I suggest you talk. Open your mouth. Connect. The receptivity is there.

Oklahoma City : I was involved in the Rescue efforts of the Oklahoma City Bombing and having trouble coping with what is going on.. any suggestions.

Dr. Joe Luciani and Dr. Mark Levy: Mark Levy: This may be an example of someone who's been primed with a previous traumatic experience. It doesn't just have to be the OKC bombing, it could be surviving an earthquake, violent death of a relative, something of that nature. You have to know you're vulnerable and realize you're experiencing what you've experienced before. If you're not in one of these rescue battalions, you can do something else at a local level to make you feel less helpless.

Joe Luciani: For all of us, depending on the degree of recent stress, we react to the crisis in different ways. Our own life circumstances and vulnerability will impact our reactions to Tuesday.